so, i'm bored...

not just now, but my life of late seems to have lost some of that sparkle that's responsible for spontaneous grinning and deep sighs of satisfaction. and it's not as if i'm not getting out and doing stuff, either. i live in manhattan. i see at least two or three live music shows a week. i get to the theater to see two three flicks a week. i don't watch much t.v. - just tivo'd entourage or sopranos (although project runway and top design caught my interest for the season.) i haven't been doing as much non-political, non-work related reading as i have in the past, but i still have a book i'm into (philip roth's counterlife - still) and a couple lined up. so what's the dealio, man?

i've always believed an active creative outlet is what most maximizes our ability to experience 'experience.' harking back to my previous post, individual/spiritual growth occurs in the present, in one's ability to perceive experience with as few cultural/familial/peer values degrading the present phenomenon. actively creating something - music, literature, any art or something completely unique coming from within - taps into something within the human creature that engenders exhilaration and feelings of connectedness with the larger world. i know i'm sounding a little new agey, but i'm not postulating a sentient 'thing' out there with a larger plan for us all.

the macro-physical world appears to conform to the principles of evolution, while the micro-physical world adheres to quantum physical properties. (massive disclaimer: yeah, i've read several books outside of college on these topics, but by no stretch of the hallucinogenic and fevered imagination do i consider myself anything but the most lay of laypersons on these subjects.) both evolution and quantum physics are theories describing the creative process on a macro- and micro- scale. creation is how and why we're here. even our social behaviors are governed by the ways we can create opportunities to mate with high-status partners.

my point is that creating is inherent to our being. so it makes sense when individuals say that they feel the most alive when creating. perhaps personal creation, on some level, resonates with the process of creation that's happening all around and in us in infinite ways forever.

perhaps personal/spiritual growth is about maximizing that resonance.

perhaps i need to find/create a creative outlet.

perhaps i've smoked myself retarded.